Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Hur hur hur... You'll never guess who I wrote this poem for. >.<

Title: The Laspe Back

I remember You walking round the red track,
You were hunching, hauling your blue schoolbag.
It was raining, we watched You through the cracks,
I called out to You as they hurried through the steps.
You didn't hear me; my voice misplaced in sadness,
I waved, You turned You smiled You waved You turned
There was enough. In that instant glimpse of debt,
My mind was desperate to grasp that death of depths,
In Your eyes, half laughter half tears and half pacts.
I knew You then, knew who You are then.
We stirred in circles before we met in the same set.
I know more than them, Your significance to clasp.


Anonymous said...

Think it'd be better without this line:

"My mind was desperate to grasp that death of depths."

Faith said...


That was a line I was inclined to write in as an inclusion after much thought.

If you stumbled over the strong 'D' intonation and modulation, that disassembled the fluidity of the end rhyme of the poem, you would have understood the meaning of that line much better and how I actually felt during that point of time (for it really happened, this little scene). The intention, in any case, was for the transition of the pitch of forceful utterance to connotate the implicit meanings of my sentiments.

But then again, I'll bear that in mind. That's an interesting comment. Thank You! :)