Sunday, June 18, 2006

Currently engaged in: Operation FUBAR aka Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition aka Faith Under Bloody Assholes Rotting aka Fantastically Ugly Balls Actually Resting! Nice to know my vocabulary and vulgarities are in full swing, in that sinful love affair that they have. I think I'm drunk and bound to offend at this point in time. Too late for regrets. And destruction goes dance... ...

Task: Cram/Mug/Revise/Shove down/Fall in love with/ Brainwash/ Study for European History, Southeast Asian History, Art History, Art, King Lear, The Beggar's Opera, Great Expectations, Chaucer, The Hours, The English Patient, A Farewell to Arms within 5 days.


1) People who use the words "fuck", "shit" and other vulgarities as though they're modernistic full-stops, commas, semicolons and what not.

A perfectly manicured sentence from them goes something like this: "And fuck you know what the fuck he fucking tried to fucking kill me! Oh shit it was so fucking funny and fucking fun that I fucking want to do it again and shit all over my pants!" Ok ok maybe that was too Americanized.

How about this: "I fucking failed my test! You don't fucking understand! You don't know how fucking angry I am with myself!" Oh wow, well I'm sure the number of "fuck"s used was very clearly understood even if we don't understand you, little Young Angsty Teenager seriously PMS-ing.

Yes, I do use the word, I will admit to it because I'm corrupted enough to do so. I don't fault people who find it slipping out of their little angelic tongues by pure accident, but overuse it and it loses all the sense of shock and distressingly malicious flavour that embellishes it.

C'mon c'mon... Learn from those hypocritical pastors. They preach the word of God 24/7 and then secretly and silently scream the word "FUCK!!!!" when their fleets of Mercedes cars gets scratched.


Now watch with a lollipop dangling in your mouth.

Watch the silence right after that.

It's positive awe.

It's a magically golden moment captured. And all its beauty is adorned with white lace of intricacy.

Then comes the roar of thunder, "I'm going to fucking kill the fucker who scratched my fucking car!"

Well, if your car is a "fucking car", then it sure as hell deserved to get scratched doesn't it?

Bottom line: Use it well or don't use it at all. Of course it's best not to use it at all but ___________________________ (Either you get it or let's forget it).

2) People who use big words.

Oh dear, I sincerely apologize for that absolutely unrefined manner of spoken communication. I meant Homo Sapiens who employ bombastic grandiloquent words in the embarkment of a conversational tete-a-tete with other further elucidations.

The natural assumption is of course that this makes you appear more intelligent. In fact it makes you look stupid. You think you're an Aristocrat stuck in Austen's era? She's hot when she writes like that, but it makes you look plain ridiculous. You put people down and you isolate yourself in a palace of gold where you can eat nothing but your own golden bullshit. Unless you naturally speak like that, don't even attempt to flaunt the limited vocabulary you have because empty vessels really do make the loudest noises (check me out if you simply just don't get it because I'm a living, breathing, walking example).

In the event of an emergency:

If you cannot help yourself but to speak like that in order to impress other snobs like yourself or wannabe-snobs, please make sure you pronounce your words properly in order to look like the proper snob you wish so desperately to become.

3) People who gasp loudly when you tell them the ugly truth.

You can spot them easily. All you have to do, is tell them the ugly truth and 1 2 3, A B C, they spread their wings and fly with their holier-than-thou speeches.

For example:

"I hate her."

Starts panting, gyrating and gasping loudly, "Noooooo!!!"

"It's the ugly truth. I hate her."

Starts panting, gyrating and gasping loudly, "Don't be so bad lar! Even though she is a fucking slut, I think that she can still be a pretty nice bitch if she wants to be. I mean how can you say such a horrible thing like that? OH. MY. GOD. How can you use the word 'hate'??? I mean, oh my god, it is such a strong word to use on a person!"

The word "hate" exists for a reason. The last I checked, I clearly still understood the meaning of the word "hate" unfortunately. Replacing "hate" with other words such as "dislike" and "displeasure" is just an act of mere euphemism. I don't mince my words. If I want to do that, I might as well exeggerate and use words such as "despise" and "loathe" to stir things up a little bit more.

And no, I will not be deleting this post or apologizing for this post no matter how "sad and disappointed" you are with me. I hate people who use the word "disappointed" on me. The word implies that you have expectations of me which I have failed to meet. Well let me tell you something, unless you are someone of great importance in my life, your expectations mean nothing to me at all. I have my own expectations to live up to and I don't need you to tell me what I should or should not do.

Conclusion: Now now, tell me honestly, who gives a shit? Who cares? Hating them, all of them, is just a plain waste of time. Faith, stop trying to be funny. When was the last time you looked yourself in the mirror?

I shall promptly go and eat my own bullshit now and meanwhile hopefully get a life or anything that vaguely resembles it.


Prick said...

All this would have been wonderful, but for a few minor details.

Faith said...

Do tell.

Although I don't see how it is wonderful in any way at all.

positively_perplexed said...

Excellent post.

I almost thought u were promoting 'vulgarism' when i read this entry. Seriously, I doubt that anyone would appreciate any of the people u've listed here.

Prick said...

Well, I agree with the most of it. But there's that point where someone who can use the words "fuck", "shit" and other vulgarities amazingly well. There's a way to do it. Same way with the big words.

mometasone said...

somehow i felt like laughing while reading the text. hmm...

Miao said...

You have no idea how much work there is for LEP as well... Oh well, all the best anyway. :)

siti* said...

okay. i'ld like to make a few confessions here. dun hate my guts kay.. ahahh.. it'll be easy but try not to..

1. i've not used the f-word except for like 3 whole times in my life- 2 at a camp in thailand (was really fuming and just blurted.. was hearing it everyday anyw so it was abt time tt i started saying it) and the other was when 'Meet the Fockers' came out..

2. i'm totally guilty for the she's-not-that-bad-that-you-shld-hate-her-which-is-an-extreme-word-to-use-anyway lecture many many many times over.

hahs. if God ever wanted to recruit humans as angels, i'll prob be the first few candidates.


panic and anxiety attacks are good signs that u've woken up to the real world so dun u worry.

do mug as much as possible dear. i'm in the same holey banana boat as you. so see. i'm er.. with you. up until our boat sinks of course.(:

qt said...

haha. u got me laughing uncontrollably again!!

Godwin said...

Fuck is just another word, albeit one that expresses certain extreme emotion (anger, fear, shock, etc). As such, it should only be preserved for use under the most extreme circumstances. Repeated usage in the everyday would undoubtedly lower its impact, but in the extreme moment this actually enhances its effect. Its vulgar nature is only determined by society and no word is universally vulgar, but the individual should still be the judge of "how much is too much". So I don't personally see anything wrong in using it, it is the overall pattern of speech and method of delivery which are the true determinants of a person's EQ and desirability. That means to say if he or she could not recognise general characteristics such as those stated above, (unless in similar company) he would have just make a fool of himself. It applies to "big words" as well, it's all about knowing how to, and when to.

Faith said...

Feng Ji, wonderfully said, as always. :)

Although I must disagree with something: "As such, it should only be preserved for use under the most extreme circumstances." It's very true, but it's hard to exert that sort of self-control or self-restraint when you speak, to say that certain words should only be used in certain contexts at the provocation of certain emotions.

Paparazzi said...

ah, I hate the f word, as much as I hate smoking. For many reasons, firstly, repetitive usage of the same word give me an impression of poor vocabulary.

secondly, reptitive use of the same word seem to tell something negative about morals and upbringing.

thirdly, reptitive use of that same word again, seem to be what I called corruption by the West which I see as weakness.

and a long list of reasons that goes on and on.....

for accidents, from one viewpoint, its accidental, from another viewpoint, it tells about your subconcious as well.

For literature, I'm clueless about that, but the usage of the word to express emotions is like like music for a video, an ingredient for a recipe, when you are not allowed to use that music/ ingredient (even if you think that piece of music or that particular ingredient is the spine of the video, recipe and its really important) you need to look for alternative, and I think that is part of creativity.

By the way, great post. (: