Friday, April 06, 2007

I think the thing I find the hardest to accept is the fact that nothing ever stays the same. People who love you can suddenly, without any reason at all, stop loving you. You might mean the world to someone today. But tomorrow, you might mean nothing. Nothing at all. So what do you do? People move on. People change. People let you in. People push you away. People take you for granted. People forget about you. The world shifts. It feels like a security blanket has slipped away. What do you do?

More often than not, we make the same mistake of determining our sense of self-worth through how the world, through how other people, view us. He loves me, you think. So I must be worth something. There is a reason to live, a person to live for. What happens when that person walks away? Can you take it? Do you crumble?

Even worse, we pick and choose who exactly gets to judge us, who exactly gets to decide how good we are. And more often than not, we don't pick those who see us as we are, as we should be, as we could be. We pick the people who we know will reject us, who we think are utterly perfect and beyond our human reach. Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it for the thrill of a chase? Is it just for one cold and sweet taste? Maybe its too harsh to call it a 'mistake'... But it sure is a delusional trap that we set for ourselves, and nothing more than that.

You have to take care of yourself. You have to love yourself. You just have to. If you don't want crap, stop taking crap. Act for yourself. Pick yourself up. Stand up for yourself. Fight for what you should have. Fight for what you can have. Do it. Do it now. Don't wait. Don't complain. Because you do have a say in your own life. You do have a voice. So speak. Speak up. Now.

Because people may or may not love and support you when you need them most, but you can love and support yourself.

Never assume that people will always be there for you. Not family. Not friends. They do their best to love you I'm sure (I know I do), and they will tell you all sorts of comforting things, but never, never, assume anything.

In such uncertainty, because of such breakability, the present moment seems more beautiful and valuable than ever. We are together, right now. I am grateful. Because now is all that matters to me.

You do what you can. You do what is within your control. Friends and lovers, to me, are more like temporary pit stops for you to take a rest. Pretty cheerleaders. Cubes of sugar. You never know when the good stuff runs out, so while you still have them, you hold on to them, tightly. You treasure them. But eventually, you have to run the race of your own life, and no one else can do it for you even if they want to, even if they wish they could.

When all else fails, and your strength leaves you, I like to think that He will step in and take the wheel, no matter who you are, what you believe in, or what you've done.

Go watch Meet the Robinsons! Makes you happy. Hehe. Keep Moving Forward! :D

1 comment:

lionel said...

hye hey... my promise to be there for my frens will be true so long as it is possible for me to do so. (which means if family members [especially parents] allow).

yeh, Meet the robinsons is nice.. i wish i was like Louis.. the great inventor!!! but argh.. nvm.. i am nt tat talented.. so shall just be a physics teacher at most...