Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles
are achieving for us an eternal glory
that far outweighs them all.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is not seen is eternal.

- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.


I give thanks for the pain,
for the people who hurt me,
for the people who come and go,
for the people who could not, who would not stay,
for the people who wronged me,
for the people who manipulated me,
for the people who misunderstood me,
for the people who made use of me,
for the people who stepped over me,
for the people who hate me,
for the people who crushed my dreams.

I give thanks for the pain,
for the weight of the world on my shoulders,
for a weary and broken heart,
for the cuts and wounds and bruises and scars.
I give thanks for the fear,
for how real, how terribly irreducibly real, it can be.

This is my pain.
I acknowledge it.
I accept it.
I do not let anyone trivialize or belittle it.
They can say whatever they want.
I will not be ashamed of it.
I confront it.
I take full control of the damage it has done.
I take full control of my life,
of who I am and who I want to be.
I pick the pieces up,
and I fix it and make it even better than before.

I give thanks for Your sustaining grace,
for survival,
for strength,
for resilience,
for purpose,
for forgiveness,
for challenges and setbacks,
for learning experiences,
for fresh and new beginnings,
for unfailing empowering love,
for family,
for friends
(my fiance,
the idiot,
the silly pen palish cranky disturbing vampiric happy drunken bestest friend,
qt,
caramel corn syl,
bimbotic siti,
shu wen whom i miss,
05a1-ners,
ocip/osle people,
night safarians,
theatre peeps,
aep-ers,
journalism babes,
damon,
and you, you reading this),
for the stars in the clear night sky after the rain,
for every little good thing I took for granted.

I give thanks to You,
You who stayed,
when there was never any reason to stay.
You who stayed,
when there was no one left.
You who held my hand
and walked beside me
through the deepest darkest hours of my life,
when it was cold and quiet and unbearably lonely.
You who gave me hope, light, and a future,
when all was lost.
You who told me you loved me,
as I am, as I am, as I am.
Always.
In a world that was rapidly spinning and changing,
You stood still and firm and told me,
"Always."

Although it's been said
many times, many ways,
Merry Christmas
to you. :)