We need to feel breathless with love,
and not collapse under its weight.
I'm gasping for the air to fill
my lungs with everything I've lost.
-It's Beginning To Get To Me by Snow Patrol.
Everything I do, let me do for you and you alone. Sometimes I cling on to verses, to ancient promises, to printed words, and wonder if I am desperately clutching air in the trembling palms of my hands- futile, weak and senseless. But there is such aching emptiness and loneliness underneath my fingernails and beneath my bones. No one else but you comes close enough to touching and filling the void. No one else knows how it feels like to walk each stumbling step, with a decaying cavity rising and sinking inside your chest- up and down, up and down, leisurely nibbling portions of your heart with each sharp and stabbing breath you take. What am I supposed to do? With so much despair and fear? It drips and spills over my eyes and my body can't carry the mess any longer. There's so much of it... How do I use it? Where do I put it? What do I do with it? What do I do? Give me an answer, give me anything. You are all I have. You are the only one who will stay, to the very end. Without you, I am most certain that I will go stark stark mad.