Friday, May 16, 2008

Heyyy. I hope none of you have been trying to contact me. I'm not using my number currently. I've been in New York for about a week now and will only be back home around the 12th of August. So far everything has been a truly fantastic blast, everything I always thought it would be. The first few days were really nightmarishly horrible though, because it appeared that everybody knew everybody. I am the only one who came alone and is travelling alone. They frequently talk about the travel plans they intend to embark on after our contract ends. (Sometimes I feel a little left out and blatantly singular.)

They keep telling me how brave I am to be on my own. But we all know that I am not brave. Impulsive stupidity makes you do the most interestingly unpredictable things. But I would be lying if I said I regret my lack of logical judgement. Because I don't. I'm loving every moment here and the fact that I'm not prepared for anything. It forces me to do things I normally wouldn't do and it is challenging and rewarding. I'm making friends, and even though there are unpleasant things happening, everything is still such a wonderful, delectable surprise. Work might be from the boring hours of 9 to 5 but it is pure ecstatic fun. People here are so different too. I watch them and occasionally let slip a quiet smile of amusement. It's a refreshing eye-opener. I'm growing a lot, trying to save money, washing my own panties and scrounging for food. I think they call this "independence". Haha. I think I'm changing too, but in a manner I kind of like.

Right now I'm sitting in the dusty common kitchen of a motel. Rusty bronze pots and pans crash against each other and clang noisily, hastily thrown into the sink by careless fingers and left to pile up for the night. The dryers and washing machines groan from churning the weight of perspiration-soiled laundry. I am facing the mosquito-netted window, where the clouds give way to an unblinking sun that shines softly, unexpectedly, (but I can still feel it's glowing heat on my cheeks). And then there's the occasional chilly breeze that scatters the remnants of winter away. I'm sitting on a green sand-daubed plastic chair, typing on my laptop, listening to Death Cab For Cutie and drinking Starbuck's Mocha. I think I am happy. I feel so at ease. And fearless. It is not that I think that nothing will go wrong, but rather, there is such a strong irrepressible feeling inside my body that tells me firmly, "You can take anything that comes your way. Anything at all."

I think all I need is this. This sense of peace with, within myself. This, strangely simple contentment that empowers and emboldens me.

There is so much to do and see. So many pictures to take. So much to live for. So much to learn.

I hope I always keep my eyes this bright and this wide open.

8 comments:

annoynomous said...

=)

Miao said...

Have fun in the Big Apple!!!

A.Z said...

oh my god.
i m totally missing you here n your secret slip away from our sleep-over n that horrible horrible picture you took of us sleeping...

steamy...steamy...

i'll predict o' faith will return with
a) more money
b) heavier accent
c) prettier laughter than it is pretty enough already
d) wacko ideas n actions
e) a dude.

ah. typical shuwen's warning - beware who's behind you when you..... brush teeth, wash face, shower, watch television etc..

nah.. shan't be mean. i'm super duper naggy here..

oh i miss you already..... siti too.... sylvia too.... (they better be)

hey. online more often yeah. send me pictures tooo!!!!!!!!! oh pretty please.... pretty pictures.....

ok. i can't seem to stop talking.

have great great great great great great great fun in NY..... tt's New York and not NanYang.

enjoy enjoy enjoy enjoy....

P.s: i'm having my own manjoyment all the way from NewYork here too.. wahahaa.....shh..secret...

hugs and kisses

HApPiLY LIVIN' said...

hey Faith, relli happy to see you feeling optimistic and geared up for life; not just from the cultural shift i hope. It's a little like how i feel after India, so much to learn and so much to see, feel and experience. I hope we will grow together and become strong, fearless and good women, and most importantly, find peace in God.
Jia you!

Cui Wen:)

qt said...

hey WOMAN!!!!!!!!!! BUT U ARE USING THE NEW NUMBER U GAVE ME RITE??? anyway i feel the same in INDIA TOO!!!!! hahahhha. tell u the children in india ARE AMAZING. i think they are like wad u described in LIJIANG. they are SO PASSIONATE HAPPY AND CUTE!!!! OMG. i thkn i took like HUNDREDS OF DOZENS OF THEIR PICS!!! HAHAHAHA. show u in AUGUST!!!!!!!!!!!

lost said...

I first thought was... Why did you left Singapore without telling us! Argh, by the time you are back, the art exhibition would have been over... Argh... And you din reply my letter. Gosh... How could you! so evil lah.

You had better be brining back nice stuff for me from NY( read Comics figurines or Chewing gums) otherwise when you are back in Singapore, I am going to pester you like a housefly and whine like a 3 year old.

Still, have fun over there hor, but take good care of yourself. No 'Policeman' to take care of you.

Haha, enjoy yourself!

p.s: No, I won't be angry for long (and you know that)

Anonymous said...

oh faith...

sw asked me to tell you this:

visit the Jazz bars in New York.

They are fabulous.

sw's twin.

d said...

damn now you're gone i have no one to emo with when im feeling emo.