The tv is switched on and there are a million channels to choose from, but there’s nothing to watch. There's always the internet but there’s nothing to surf. I could play some music but there’s nothing to listen to. No books to read either. The phone has a couple of text messages I haven’t replied to, but there’s no one I want to reply to. No one to talk, to really, talk, to. And even if I do have someone, there’s nothing I want to say. There's too many ways to go until there's nowhere to go. After a while everything just seems like one big distraction from the fact that I can still feel empty; that I'm constantly afraid, that I'm so jaded and yet terribly restless.
Being in a relationship, having the most wonderful friends in the world, doesn't mean that all your problems are solved. Believing in a god doesn't mean that you won't hurt any more.
But it does mean that you have so much more to fight for and live for.
It does mean that you have more shoulders to lean on, more arms to fall into, a super duper double-triple dose of encouragement and love to kick-start all those days (which is in fact, every day) when you can't bloody pull yourself together and crawl out of bed; when you feel like shit and life seems absolutely meaningless.
They will fight for you so hard that if all the stars inside your head were to burn out and die and fall out of the sky, they would take out their matchboxes, fumble a little and grab those flimsy wooden matchsticks out with their too large hands and light up every single candle, bring out their torchlights, start their car engines and shine those headlights, and they'll carefully pick those stars up, one by one, and breathe life into them, and climb up impossibly long ladders and put them right where they were when you last saw them, and polish them so that they shine even brighter than before.
How do I know? Because I would do this for you. And I know that you would do the same.