Sometimes it gets so hard to function in school, especially in the morning, when you haven't had your therapeutic cup of tea, or at least filled your stomach with something so you don't feel like dying. I always feel like stabbing the people around me, particularly extremely happy people.
Some girl I don’t even like finishes her cigarette and says, “Hi. What are you doing here?”
What a fucking stupid question, I think. What the hell do you think I’m doing here? Isn’t it common sense. For some reason I start to feel flustered and mumble incoherently. I say something about having lectures to attend today and wanting to sleep and going home, and she rolls her eyeballs and says, “Ah forget it, can’t even hear a single word you’re saying,” and walks away. It’s quite funny actually.
Still, the little things keep me going. Like having lunch with my sister. She’s been waiting for me at Pepper Lunch for an hour and we are both starving and I rub my stomach and exclaim, “Let’s order something quick!”
She frowns, “Can we go somewhere else?”
“Why? Thought you wanted to eat here? If not you sit here for what.”
“Yah at first it smelt so good. Then I smell, smell, smell, and smell, smell, smell, and now it makes me feel like puking.”
I laugh and we decide to eat japanese food instead. She tells me to order sashimi but when it arrives she takes the thinnest slice and swallows it down with a visibly tortured grimace on her face.
“Wah lao why you eat until like that! Wasting my money,” I scold her.
“I only order ‘cause you like what,” she admits.
Suddenly I feel so completely touched at the thoughtfulness of her gesture. Even the look of absolute disgust at having eaten raw fish on her face seems quite sweet.
Later on she orders a plate of ikura sushi which I point out to her “look like tadpole eggs”. She stares at me and almost bangs the plate on the table.
“Why you order,” I say, “I thought you’re afraid of tadpoles.”
“Fuck you,” she says, "I didn't think of that! I ordered it 'cause I thought it was very fun, can burst all the little little orange balls."
I laugh hard, “You think what? This is bubble wrap is it? Can happily poke. Aiyah never mind lar. You can be happy that you’re eating the eggs of your enemy so it’s like you’re killing them! Die, die, die!”
“Oh my god! What talking you? Are you sure you’re a writer?? Are you even listening to yourself? You sound damn retarded can! What ‘eating the eggs’ of my ‘enemy’?! So cheesy!”
“You shut up and just eat it lar.”
“I can’t eat it anymore lar! Thanks to you.”
We stare at the plate of sushi, none of us wanting to touch the freaking thing anymore, and burst out laughing at how totally childish and ridiculous we are.