Thursday, February 25, 2010

Another night where I go, "I so fucking want to sleep!" and don't, because there is work to do. And when the work is finished, I can't seem to fall asleep anymore. Too much adrenaline running through my veins. Pump, pump, pump. Strange, how I am able to invest so much of myself in things that don't 'count' in the practical sense. What I do isn't going to pull my grades up.

I wish I cared more about my grades. I used to do so well, and now I slip below average and want to vanish into thin air. Each day I drag my feet to school, back hunched, frowning, empty, hollow, empty, yearning for something so much more, hungry to escape the small rooms full of people full of talk.

My greatest regret is always giving up on myself. Each time giving up on myself just when I was about to hold on to the edge of a dazzling star.

Can't keep on doing this to myself. This must stop!

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