Sunday, July 17, 2005

I just want to share something that my very cute Sylvia taught the few lucky lot of us.

HOW TO NOT COMPLETE YOUR HISTORY ASSIGNMENT AND GET AWAY WITH IT:

1) Do half of the questions, eg, Questions 1-3.

2) When you run out of time, stay calm and do not panic. I repeat, do not panic.

3) Get a piece of empty fullscap paper

4) and staple it to the back of your written answers.

5) Tear three quarters of that empty fullscap paper

6) leaving a dog ear of it dangling, hanging, and clinging for its dear life to the staple lead.

7)Pray hard. Yes. Pray very hard that your dear stapler will save your life.

8) When questioned by X teacher, stay calm and do not panic. I repeat, do not panic.

9) Immediately assume a humble, innocent and extremely hardworking face.

10) If possible, your eyes should enlarge @.@ and should read, "I WORSHIP YOU". Your body language should read, "I WORSHIP YOU" as well.

11) Tell X teacher with a serious voice, "Questions 4 and 5 flew away".

12) Make sure that all your classmates maintain composure and keep very very straight, solemn and serious faces (although they think that the words "flew away" are damn funny and are an obvious giveaway to your lie).

13) If X teacher does not get it, it would be strongly encouraged and advisable for you to start flapping your arms up and down to imitate the movements of your paper flying away. If you encounter difficulties, pretend you are a bird.

(For sound effects, get your classmates to act as nuns from The Sound of Music, clasp their hands together and sing, "How do you solve a problem like Sylvia? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? Oh how do you make her home work stay and listen to all she says...")

14) X teacher would then be led to think that you have lost your mind due to the severe stress of being in NYJC and learning History

15) And would contact the IMH (Institute of Mental Health)

16) And will cease to pursue after your History assignment.

By the way, the above scenario did NOT happen, although Sylvia was very much tempted to put the idea to the test.

Credits: Sylvia Cheong
Member of The BULLSHIT Club
Received a Commendable Certificate in SLACKitude in the year 2005

*Some parts of the idea were changed and exeggerated upon because the author was very high at the moment.

11 comments:

Shiroi-chan said...

heyy faith can i copy and paste this into my blog... will credit you... because i'm too tired to retype everything and i thought this was funny...

if no i will remove it. :)

debx* said...

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

O
M
G
.


AHAHAHAHA

Quanmin said...

Hey Faith! Got through your blog from Sylvia. Hahaha...Just wanna tell you that I love that entry man! IT'S JUST SO SYLVIA!!=P

Anonymous said...

Hello, I'm Miao Yu. I've been wanting to tell you something for a really long time already. However I didn't choose to tell you earlier because I was really, really shy. But now I can't hold back any longer. I have to tell you right here and now what I've been stifling for so long. It's OK that everyone who surfs the World Wide Web reads it, because it is the universal truth - the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have three words to say to you, and I hope you can accept what I have to say. And the three words are *blush furiously*:























YOU ARE LAME.

debx* said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Godwin said...

you mean you DO HISTORY TUTORIALS? WOW. No like seriously, I haven't done more than two for Mr K in my time here

estelwen said...

whao ok pro... haha... lalala... can u imagine if we paste this on nyjc website forum... haha... imagine how many colours kellet can change to (hmm... frm green to purple to red to orange or some rainbow colour maybe)before he explodes...hahaha...

Faith said...

HAHAHA.

Godwin are you serious?????? :P

And Miao, I'm not lame, I can walk...... (that's the most lame joke i've ever heard btw). ah the contradiction. very sexy. lol.

Godwin said...

yes serious =)

haha estelwen, he won't do anything, he doesn't really care. It's my own problem really, and I'm quite sure that's the way he sees it as well. If you feel that the tutorials help you, that's great, but personally I don't think they help me, not to mention, Nanyang's (e) history notes suck, in my opinion, reading from books by real historians is much better.
Not that I have anyway, anyways please don't make generalisations simply because I haven't really passed A level history before =P

estelwen said...

haha... yar i have to agree with you... sometimes i wonder what mr k actually does during lesons cus he's just like... omg... does he even get his salary?

Lin said...

you have very long posts.....
-zhiyang=p