Sunday, August 14, 2005

It's really nice to know that I have guy friends I feel comfortable with and can ask them out on 'dates' jokingly, people who understand me or seem to understand me, and understand as well the plain and simple fact that I really just want some company, without them thinking too much or that I have ulterior motives or am interested in them or them taking the chance to flirt with me, etc.

That is what I call platonic friendship. No strings attached.

Speaking of which, why can't a male and a female eat together without others getting the implication that something must be going on between the both of them? Even I would typically think this way if I see such a scene or at least question the possibility of it.

I was eating in the canteen with someone, and my classmates, scattered around, and his classmates, seated three tables behind me, kept making fun of us. Si Min actually used her handphone to key in the word, "flirt!!!" and showed it to me cheekily as I tried to swallow my spaghetti thingy (which of course suddenly turned rubbery). Two of his friends walked passed us and patted really him hard on the back mischeviously. Thank god he didn't choke on his food. Cough excessively maybe. Haha. And then there are idiots like Jonathon who has been teasing us like crazy and telling me, "someone talked about you last night... eh like machium want to chio you liddat" and telling him, "must have faith", pun intended. Right... He has really nice friends right. And Wei Qi asked me, "What did you two talk about?" Hello, I talk to many guys everyday, are you going to ask me what I talk to each and every single one of them about? I was feeling so... weird.

But quirky moments like these are always always interesting and very wildly hillarious. I found myself wondering if there really was/is something going on between the both of us. Hmmmmmmmmmm.... That's a secret. ;) Anyway, you get a good laugh out of it yourself, and feel very amused and embarrassed out of the blue and think what on earth is their problem? It's sweet and naive fun in a really strange way. Or maybe I'm just sadistic.

Anyway, to that someone, really really sorry. Haha. My fault. Note to self and warning to fellow others: DON'T EVER EVER CHOOSE THE CANTEEN AGAIN NO MATTER HOW HUNGRY YOU ARE. YOU WILL DEFINITELY BUMP INTO A LOT OF IDIOTIC PEOPLE.

Love the outrageous reactions I'm getting for my new hair. Damn, should have cut it shorter. :P

Anyway, wrote another sort-of poem. Was inspired by a poem I can't find again. I've tried surfing the net and the school's library. And I only read that poem once! The disappearance of its existance is like a beautifully mysterious magic trick.

Title: I Give Up

I give up my eyes which are silent mirrors.
I give up my nose which has its own redolence.
I give up my lips which have kissed more lies than truth.
I give up my tongue which is an impulsive painter.
I give up my throat which allowed both sides of us through.
I give up my lungs which are soul mates blind-folded.
I give up my heart which are unstable sensations
that you kicked mercilessly into prison.
I give up my stomach which is a ravenous wave enslaved.
I give up my fingers which have felt everything and touched nothing of you.
I give up my legs which are physical unconsciousness
that always leads me to the same places only you go.
I give up my mind which are self-inflicting intelligent wounds.
They sometimes bleed shapes that resemble your name.
I give it up.
I give it up all.
I give up myself.
I give up myself entirely.
You can't have me because I'm gone.
I give up everything.
I give it up all.

James Blunt is my new food for the ears. You should check out his songs like You're Beautiful and Tears and Rain. Thank you Wei Qi and Alex for the songs. The lyrics are pure poetry.

Tears And Rain lyrics

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

haha whao i actually laughed when i read this entry....
hmm... i guess it's juz this stereotype that whenever a girl is with a guy, it's usually romantically linked to the word love. but on the other hand, it's somehow the truth as well. i dun noe... tt's wad my dad told me from his guy pt of view... of course there can be exceptions like it's juz purely friends but yar...
so tt's why i'm gonna stick with my dream of living with my sis for the rest of my life at a island and we can go kayaking everyday!!!
btw i'm peeling like mad...
~the lonely wanderer ereb-randir

Anonymous said...

oh well....
if nthing works, juz follow ur heart....
sounds so romantic right? but i guess this method might juz suit u as well :)
smilex!

*u can still date me! i'm single!
~ereb-randir

Anonymous said...

oh the flirt thing, i dun mean it u noe...haha... :P was juz trying making u agitated :P haha...
hmmm.... maybe on second tots, i was jealous!
lolx
~estelwen

mometasone said...

Heh, nothing derogatory intended for those who do make these assumptions, but I'm guessing that at least some of those who do do so 'cause they're deprived/juvenile. A friend of mine noticed before that a lot of the NY cliques are single-sex only, and mentioned reading somewhere that stated the presence of both sexes in one's social circle to in fact be a sign of maturity.
Good poem by the way. Your blog's a good place for an interesting/alternative take on life, heh
-Will

Anonymous said...

flirt with me la!! y him?! lol

hahahaha jk jk

-jaded

Anonymous said...

i have to disagree and agree with u will but i dun noe how to substantiate my pt lolx.... oh well
~estel

Anonymous said...

James Blunt的曲风有着一种堕落的美丽。

I’m gonna get his album soon :)

- Miao

Anonymous said...

"Speaking of which, why can't a male and a female eat together without others getting the implication that something must be going on between the both of them? Even I would typically think this way if I see such a scene or at least question the possibility of it.
"

You just answered your own question. Natural reaction for most people I guess. Whether it's been conditioned in us, or it just occurs naturally, the conclusion that the mind immediately perceives for most people is that there's something between them.

-Strider-