Sunday, December 18, 2005

(Click on image to enlarge)

Before I get drowned by reality and forget this flight of the imagination- for this is what the trip is, although it was never meant to be in such a way; it was meant to be the truth; a deeper consciousness of intensive reality; the whole other side of the world that we've never seen before and might never grasp again. Even if grasped again, never in the same way as it was understood to be in the very beginning. But it's precisely because this is so, that everything has become a delicate dream. And so all we are left with are images, pictures, films, friendships, that somehow, in some way, doesn't really seem to align perfectly with our memories. Things are always changing. How interesting.

She asked me what happened on the first day that we were there. She said she was afraid that she would forget everything, because she doesn't have the best of minds good at remembering things. She said she wrote pages after pages of what happened, and was it too early to be missing the trip? I laughed.

"No it's not," I told her. It's never too early to be missing something you truly enjoy, and love so ardently and completely. And I was thinking, maybe it's because she was so afraid to forget that the suddeness of panick pierced her mind and wiped out everything instantly, making everything a white blank sheet. If you did not care to remember, or at least, if you did not care whether you would forget or not, and you saw everything and you fondly devoured it, I believe even if you were to forget it, it will come back to you, as mysteriously as it had vanished, and you will laugh at the unexpected remembrance of it all. This will happen indefinitely, someday, somewhere. Even if the memory is contorted, colours strewn, dialogues forgotten, words misplaced, I believe the memory will still be beautiful, in fact, even more beautiful than it ever was before. Because the memory has been tailored over time to the nature of that person's mind and soul, and because this is so, it is special. And because the memory will draw the most sweetest, the most sensational of smiles from that person.

So before I get drowned by reality, help me to remember what I was when I was there, what I learned, what I remember, what I want to become thereafter. That all this won't become some elusive one stop wonder.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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(pink IC)(jersey)

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