HOW TO SPEAK PROPERLY.

AN INTRODUCTION ON SPEAKING BY THE MENTALLY STABLE
(Yes I thought we had that established last year?! Please refer to previous entries...)
QUEEN OF INSANITY:

I don't really like it when people "wRitE lyk diz... ... cuz i tink its realli v irritatg... ... cannot read it lehxxx so dotz dotz dotz".

But I adore people who write that this so "rawks" or that "U r CUTE!!! I sooo lurve YOU".

I think there's a very subtle difference between the two that only meticulously observant sickos like me would notice and make a fuss and obsess over.

The first line has a general aesthetic quality of creative annoyance and childishness which spells out illiteracy.

The second line creates a sense of significant emphasis on words that should stand out more, and on pronunciations that should come to life more, making the sentence leave a deeper impact on the person who is reading it.

And I'm neutral towards people who just write whatever they want to write and let the words come naturally. "If I dun use short forms then dun use lor, if I like, then I'll just use it lar. Depends on my mood."

Because I know they just want to keep it simple and laid-back, like a normal conversation in real life.

So speak yes?

Open your mouth.

Ah. AH. AHHHHH.

There you go.

Try practicing with the words, "I can't speak. I suck like shit."

Yea, nice rhyme to it isn't it?

The smarter ones can even do a rap with it.

With lotsa lurve and muackses,
Faithfyyyy Wackadeedee.