Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I lost my way while trying to find the Cityhall MRT station from Suntec City. Was panicking and felt like a small little girl abandoned by her parents. Got picked up by a friendly malay woman who walked me all the way there. Thank god for her. Can I please please stop getting lost?! Must really stop dreaming so much and pay more attention to signs, roads, numbers and details.

Didn't think of a title for this one. Think in terms of a stream of consciousness though:

cute not bad impressed impress
smile tiny giggles duress
try too hard too hard to try
i should deceive you you know
you know i should i should rest
and don’t you know more is less
you know no one really cares
take a step front a step back

maybe when you are with me
maybe in an empty room
maybe with a sharp penknife
you can cut my flesh apart
and slowly take out my heart
with little light thumping thuds
carve your name and make a mark
watch red blood devour the lark

worn-out putting aside masks
so separate such and such
too near too far too much buts
too wrong too right too much fuss
i should stop now you know i
crash over the feelings that loom
you know that nothing here blooms
drained you must love me drained too

Sometimes when you like (even just mere simple affection free from love) somebody, you try too hard to impress that you find yourself getting too fake, and you not only get disgusted with yourself, you get disgusted with the whole relationship, and you would rather be cut loose from the whole thing. It's only human nature to want to be liked and accepted by others in the beginning when first introduced. Well certaintly no one wants to be hated immediately without reason. But how far do you go to keep up a certain nice image? How much of yourself should you be? And are you sure that if you totally just be yourself, that there won't be other implications for those who just got to know you, that they'll just take you in and take to you- strengths and weaknesses- instantly?

1 comment:

estelwen said...

babe tml last day of my exams!!! *throws sparklers in e air* okayy... so i'm destinied to join the 9-5 gang of e june hols... work hard & dun join me kay? hohoho
see ya babe..

ur lover