Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Some general and sarcastic observations from a bored self-proclaimed love guru.

How to tell if a guy likes you:

1) He smses you almost every day on the most stupid things ever, like, "Hey you looked sad today. You okay?" or "What are you doing now?"

2) He clicks on you on MSN every single time you come online.

3) He tells you that you are "cute", "really cute", "sweet", "special", "attractive", etc. Guys use very predictable words so if you see them used repeatedly, you can see the green light shining like crazy.

4) He calls you every night. You tell me. Either he has lost all the handphone numbers of every single one of his best friends/good friends or has an urgent project to discuss with you or there is no excuse for this to happen at all.

5) He frequently teases you and praises you simultaneously, like, "Your eyes so big" or "Why you so skinny must eat more"...

6) He asks you out and pays for everything. Like hello? Was he ever that generous and friendly with all the other girls on a one-to-one basis? If yes, then he has serious problems or he's bloody rich. Take a hint will ya.

7) He think of all sorts of silly excuses to get you to go out with him, like "Wanna go my church with me (because all the other churches have burned down and you don't know how to find a suitable church to go to if you really need and want to go)?" or "I've got an extra ticket (because I accidentally bought it for you and you alone oopsie daisies)". He seems to be free every time.

8) He wants you to know who he is close to, be it friends or family, and he wants to know who you are close to as well (jealous possessive instinct of huba huba primitive hunter). If you don't like him it's gonna sound like this to your poor ears, "And you know X? yea I'm really close to X... I met X at blah blah and we just clicked and blahblahblah you should meet him his my really good friend we just puke puke puke vomit..."

How to tell if a guy does not like you:

(All these are said under the consideration that the guy in question is not trying to play it cool and keep you waiting. But really, do girls say the first sentence out of paranoia and idiotic hopes? Because if he really is keeping the girl he likes waiting and thinking that it is a clever thing to do, he should just keep waiting for the rest of his life and that girl should definitely move on. Nobody likes mind games and if you truly like someone, you just don't waste more time on playing dumb games.)

1) He takes a long time to reply to your smses. When he does reply, they are short and to the point, like, "Yes I will be coming."

2) He does not call you, does not sms you, does not even click on you on MSN. (No excuses here, unless he doesn't even use MSN. Guys simply just cannot control their instinct to appeal to you. That's why male peacocks have brighter and bigger feathers isn't it. If he likes you, he will want you to know that he exists and he will take every opportunity given to talk to you in the hopes that the both of you can get to know each other better. If he doesn't even talk to you online, he's just not into you at all.)

3) He does not make the first move to talk to you in person. (Guys will always make the first move if they like you. They find it challenging. It scares the shit out of them but they love it. And trust me, even if they're "just really shy", if they seriously like you they will throw their life on the line. They will somehow find that little ounce of courage they have inside to speak up.) Questions like "What homework do we have?" so does not count. In fact if he only talks to you when you ask him questions, then it's a big enough wake-up call lady.

9 comments:

vk (: said...

hi!
haha cute observations!! xD
( & most of them are really quite true haha! )

oh i see you are insomnia-stricken too xD good morning!

Miao said...

lol. your observations are quite true in general, but anyway, talk to me someday and i'm gonna tell u something that is sooo gonna prove u wrong >.<

Sylvia said...

3) He tells you that you are "cute", "really cute", "sweet", "special", "attractive", etc. Guys use very predictable words so if you see them used repeatedly, you can see the green light shining like crazy.
5) He frequently teases you and praises you simultaneously, like, "Your eyes so big" or "Why you so skinny must eat more"...

The above are so NOT true.
But the rest of them are so damn true.
SO SO TRUE. you know the 'how to tell if a guy does not like you' section? every single word is so darn true okay.

you guru.

Anonymous said...

faith!you should write for some magazine column!haha.'how to know if a guy/girl likes you'.. 'how to find that perfect man' .. 'is he The One?' blahblahblah.haha.eh maybe you should have written something like that for your newsletter. :P

moo

siti* said...

u just trashed my hopes you killjoy!! ahahhah.. nah. kidding. the entry's really adorable. ahahh :D

weiqi said...

omg thats so so true la!!!!!! hahahahaha

QM-pest said...

Heeheee...XD

asstwirl said...

AAHHHHHH!

btw, gemma ward is a very famous fashion model who made the 'down-turned mouth + alien-like' expression popular (:

http://www.filelodge.com/files/room14/353470/b0006757_116321%20copy.jpg

positively_perplexed said...

Those were some highly interesting observations there...

...though I have to disagree with point (5) of the 'How to tell if a guy likes you' section.