Sunday, June 25, 2006

R E V E L A T I O N !

Title of sculpture: Homage to Newton
Artist: Salvador Dali
Where: UOB Plaza in Raffles Place
Put up by: United Overseas Bank in 1985


Salvador Dali! The Genius of Surrealism. The famous Eccentric. The painter of, oh who can forget:

La persistencia de la memoria aka The Persistence of Memory.

The Narcissist who mocked Picasso:

Portrait of Picasso.

And who had an adulteress wife, Gala, who committed so many affairs, it gave him plenty of time to paint the masterpieces he came up with:

Gosh. What a shocking startling revelation. I don't even think the passerbys know what they're looking at when they see that sculpture. It's Dali!!! Don't just stand there idle! Drool or something! Haha...

It's just really kind of nice to know that we have a tiny piece of his insanity hiding somewhere in the midst of the ruler-straight streets of no-nonsense pragmatic Singapore.

So Mr. Dali, what do you have to say?

"I do not take drugs. I am drugs."

Right... Er no actually that wasn't what I was trying to ask you...

"Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic."

Erm, okay, sure.

"I tried sex once with a woman and that woman was Gala. It was overrated. I tried sex once with a man and that man was the famous juggler Federico Garcia Lorca [the Spanish Surrealist poet]. It was very painful."

Ah, I see. No wonder you stuck with Gala, your elegant, but unfortunately philandering, wife.

"What is an elegant woman? An elegant woman is a woman who despises you and who has no hair under her arms."

Ah I see, I see. So you're self-sadistic. Anyway, as much as I love to digress, I must kindly ask you to please answer the question which I asked earlier, which is, basically, if you have anything to say to Singaporeans?

"In order to acquire a growing and lasting respect in society, it is a good thing, if you possess great talent, to give, early in your youth, a very hard kick to the right shin of the society that you love. After that, be a snob."

No doubt. Do you think you might be similar to Singaporeans in any way?

"Liking money like I like it, is nothing less than mysticism. Money is a glory."

You do know Singaporeans very well, Mr. Dali.

"Democratic societies are unfit for the publication of such thunderous revelations as I am in the habit of making."

Ooohhh touche... Anything you want to say about yourself?

"Each morning when I awake, I experience again a supreme pleasure - that of being Salvador Dali."

"There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction."

Ah, I see. Would you consider yourself perfect then?

"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it."

How true. There are art critics who call you a "madman". Now, what do you have to say about that?

"There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad."

Lovely. Well, thank you for your time Mr. Dali. I do hope you have a good rest in your grave under the soil. Your outrageous spirit lives on!

"...the one thing the world will never have enough of is the outrageous."

Indeed. Well it sure seems we can never have enough of you. Thank you once again.

(*Note: These are actual quotes of Salvador Dali taken out of context for sheer fun and lunacy.)

Happy Birthday Faith! :D Nineteen now not eighteen. Born on two five oh six one nine eight seven. Baby number one two three infinity. Number me crazy.

I hope you guys have a fun time studying (ooohhh paradox)! I'm rather half-hearted at the moment. It just seems to go against the rules of Nature and all things jovial to study on your birthday. Yes yes, let the Queen of Procrastination speak.


Paparazzi said...

haha nice post and Dali! ((:

Happy Birthday (:

estelazure said...

LOL, and btw

"Happy Birthday Faith! :D Nineteen now not eighteen."

doesn't look nineteen.

Sylvia said...

hello faith. (: i think you've gone perfectly INSANE.

is that what you study for art history?


Prick said...

Nice post.

Well, happy birthday, though I never really caught on with the fuss about birthdays. May thee be blessed with love, life, sex and bananas.

JY said...

Haa... from the way you wrote you sound as if you had a face to face interview with Dali. ;)

Oh, and happy 19th! (*^_^*)

Miao said...

I love Dali. :) He's my favorite. I like 'Metamorphosis of Narcissus' best.

Anyway, happy birthday! :)

vk (: said...

-throws confetti

have a blessed & happy birthday! (:

estelwen said...

lolx... arty entry... i talk crap... hahahahaha

qt said...

hahha!! that entry was so clever!!!

positively_perplexed said...

Thanks for all those quotes. *Prays that a Dali question emerges*

By the way, Happy Birthday!

Faith said...


weiqi said...

HAPPY HAPPY B-DAY!! though its a bit belated sorry!! i'll give you your sweet soon.. all the best for mid yrs, dont sleep too late!!