I've been feeling extremely tired these days. Have been clocking in 6-8 hours a day painting in the art room, inhaling turpentine like a drug addict. At the start of this week, I had 5 canvases to paint within a 6 weeks deadline. It's Friday and I just finished my very first canvas the day before, which leaves me with another 4 more canvases to paint within 5 weeks. That aside, homework is piling up into a little neat-looking hill, revision is urgently tapping it's fingers, and the mid year exam results are slowly being revealed with atrocious revelation. So, basically I have 5 weeks left to finish my art coursework, and 7 weeks left to my Prelimin exams. I have never felt so excited in my life. All joy and laughter.
People are liars. Everybody knows that. What everybody doesn't know is the fact that people expect miracles, whether or not they believe in god. My close friend didn't study for the GP mid year exams, just like the rest of us, and did very badly, just like the rest of us. She expected herself to pass or to even do well. Why shouldn't she? She has always done relatively well for GP without even putting much effort or any effort at all into studying for it. In fact, she's a naturally argumentative conversationalist, so not doing well for GP made her feel very upset with herself and she felt that she had let herself down. However, her first initial response upon receiving her results was not to sit down and reflect on where she had gone wrong. Her first initial response was to get angry, and she wanted to confront the marker, who of course was an anoynymous GP teacher. But there are people who study hard for GP I believe, and still fail. Compared to them, is her anger even reasonable? There are people just like her, who didn't study for the GP exams and did just as bad or even worse than her, but are keeping quiet because they know that it's their own fault. Compared to them, is her anger even reasonable?
I'm not out to attack her. I understand that anger was an emotion she used to deal with the blow of failing GP. Plus, it was her birthday. How very very cruel. But my point is, she's not the only one who behaves this way. People don't study hard or hard enough for tests or exams, and yet expect to pass them or even do extremely well for them. When they don't, they become angry. I have seen this time and time again. I don't know whether it's the tremendous self-confidence in oneself or the excessively idealistic mentality. Yes, there are people who don't have to study hard and can still do well. But come on, you know yourself best. Are you one of them? Can you be one of them for the rest of your life? Maybe, but most probably not. Yes, you are smart and you should have gotten better grades. But your smartness is not gonna save you if you're just gonna let it rot inside of you. We're all very human. Let's face up to reality. Shit happens. People screw up.
Ultimately, all these crap that happens doesn't change the basis I really do strongly believe in- we are all intelligent and talented in our own ways. No kidding. Sounds like bullshit but it isn't. I believe that if you want something, you have to work for it. If you want something badly enough, nothing will stop you from getting it. Nothing comes for free, especially good grades. So c'mon people, let's get our asses moving and shaking to the beat of the A Levels. That'll be a sight to see. Haha.