Sunday, July 02, 2006

she just turned 21 he just went through his 2nd divorce and finally he has found his one true love at the age of 30 it isn't late it's better late then never don't you think? she just got straight 'A's like she always wanted to she worked her ass off she wanted it so bad so bad you don't know how bad it was for her and now she can go anywhere she wants to go she can fly she owns the earth she owns the sky she owns her life if she wants to she can learn how to find a way to fly he is going to be a lawyer he has plans that will make you smile he is getting out of this suffocating country and maybe he'll come back one day when he's ready and when he misses the food all the curry and rojak and the roti prata and the fishball noodles all these funny food with funny names and funny people that used to drive him crazy all the time and that sunny weather she'll cycle down the road at east coast park it's a straight road and she'll take her hands off the handles and let the breeze run through her hair and there will be a melody she's singing which nobody has ever heard of it's the song of her life where everything seems to be just perfect even if it isn't it doesn't matter as long as she's happy she lives a life she can call her own he faced his fears and he survived the systems all the whole load of rules and bullshit in that junior college and in the army and in his love life he's moved on she's moved on he's moved on they're not turning back not now and not ever don't want to be stuck don't want to be trapped don't want to be caught up in a moment that is false not going to wait for anybody because time and tide doesn't wait for anybody you're standing you're waiting asking them asking yourself asking the world maybe you're too afraid WHAT ABOUT YOU? you're crying does it work? the tears is it hot? does it matter? does it comfort you? does it help you? it doesn't are you afraid? are you a coward? did you just scream at yourself to get tough get going get tough be strong stop being so weak and so stupid did you? did you just beg and plead? did you ask him to wait for you? he did not listen only you can help yourself did you think of dying? did you think there was a way out? did you try hard enough? did you live? did you survive? and now tell me tell me ask yourself ask yourself ask yourself where you are going? don't waste any more time what do you want? who are you? how long more before you start to live? how long more before you find your passion? how long more before you start to feel alive? before you love before you are no longer afraid before you feel confident and can smile without a care in the world if only for a single precious second before you smell the scent of flowers and watch the sunset and the sunrise and kiss the person who loves you who you love who lives in your dreams and you walk in your dreams and tell me tell me you say it's hard you say you can't take it anymore you say you're breaking down it's fine but they've done it don't you see? they're doing it they're fighting it they're going ahead they're changing the world they're leading a life that has meaning that has meaning that has meaning nothing has stopped them nothing can stop them now not cancer not disaster not circumstance not war not character nothing now and it is possible you can do it you can be strong you will be fine you will be fine everything will be okay if you just try if you don't give up if you start now but tell me tell me tell me ask yourself be brave ask yourself when will your time come?

4 comments:

siti* said...

it's so scary cos that's how my mind thinks most of the time with thoughts just crazily running through my head with my fingers not keeping up with the typing which sometimes sucks cos i tend to keep forgetting what's my point but i still like thinking my countless random ultra unfocused thoughts this way cos it keeps me honest and real somehow and knowing that alone makes sense.

at least to me.




*takes in deep breaths*

Faith said...

Ah. I believe that's how we're meant to think. I like it that way, don't you? You should check out Automatism. Similar ideology. Very cool. :D

Phoenix said...

my time will come. but nt befor i get my watch repaired.

aj said...

Whoa baby, nice.