Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Because a picture paints a thousand words:





Life is good when you hang out with people who rawk your world. I have a new best friend! Hurr hurr. JS and Lionel can't sing for shit but they are so self-deprecating, lame and crazy and fun to be around! CB gets more chio every single time I meet her, and her sword fish was humongous la! Haha. Watching a good play with Kenneth was really inspiring. Xin Li can cook like a pro! Every conversation with Qi Yang opens my eyes a little to another side of the world. My mum actually cooked! And it was good! Oh and I can't wait to meet Syl, Siti and Shu Wen next saturday! Yay yay.

Life is good when you keep things simple and face the sun so all the shadows fall behind. :)

At the end of the day, I am still the silly little girl who knows nothing, who thinks too much, feels too old and screws up. And I am okay with that. I have so much to learn, so much to do... I feel utterly overwhelmed and terrified by the enormity of what is unfinished. And I'm tired too easily. But I'm trying, I'm really trying. So dear dear god, please stay.

I am not a hero. I am the one who watches with immense pain as things and people fall and break, the one who picks up the pieces and sets the limbs moving forward again. It seems this is my greatest and only talent- the ability to clean up the mess, the ability to hang around and wait stubbornly for a shadow. It isn't much but that's all that I think I have for now. So when you're done creating this devilishly lovely car wreck, when you're satisfied with the self-inflicted scars on your flesh, please turn around. I'm waiting for you. I love you and I want to help you. Please find it in your heart to trust me, trust that I only want the best for you, that I put you before me.

I wish we could all say out loud what we really meant and felt. The deepest thoughts are transformed into subtle glances and secret sighs. There's too many red lines and boundaries one is afraid to cross. You can't say what you want to say because of something or the fear of something or the possibility of something and a million other potential consequences and in the end, what is really left? All the emotions, intense and beautifully honest, turn into whispers in a quickly vanishing dream.

8 comments:

annoynomous said...

intense

and in truth, that purported only talent of yours is beautiful. often i know not of what to say because it will strike me, is there any wrong in loving? it'd only be selfishness at work to try to talk you out of what is your nature. perhaps it's just distressing the extent of self-sacrifice you'd pursue to fulfill this goal, or the ambiguity in on just what drives you to do it.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
Romans 5:3-5

Faith said...

wow.

lost said...

I know truth hurts... And the Truth is i can't sing well. And with that, i shan't go singing anymore.. Hahaha.. That's it. That is it. Wahahha

wl said...

wow!! ur entry is more than 9000 words!!!! WELL DONE!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA:)

Anonymous said...

weilian is lame

hahaha!

does lian and lame rhyme?

or i shld say weiliam is liame. WHOHOO

lol

siminzzz

Anonymous said...

Yoz

Clarify ok?

I sing better than you think hor ... :p

Jia you! :)

JS

Faith said...

lost:

hahaha whatever!

wl:

wahhh very funny... ...

simin:

<3

JS:

pleasseee!! you sang like a bird being strangled!

w said...

whahha. simin is MEAN. this RHYMES. LOL