Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The world has gone topsy-turvy. The Night seems to burn with the lively exuberance of Day. Dimly glowing street lights beam brighter than before, like little orange orbs burning and burning, boring holes into the sky, and the dust on the roads rise up as cars whizz by.

I sit and sip my hot cup of tea, looking at my dog sleep with a grumpy frown on her face- She looks like my boyfriend when he’s severely annoyed with me; all the features scrunched up together like a crushed ball of paper. She opens an eye, catches me staring, glares at me, and then gleefully presses her warm round belly onto the cold white tiles of the floor.

In return, the Day feels so much gloomier and harsher. Each morning I feel swept into a chilly grey fog which turns everything into a clinical ordinary nightmare. My stomach churns and my body feels heavy but my head is lighter than air. I barely make sense. The lack of sleep, and the lingering imprint of the long hours of darkness that came before, are like hands which wrap around my heart and drag it deep down into the earth. All this while my feet remain firmly rooted to the ground, and I move reluctantly, robot-like, step by step, with a single purpose buzzing inside my broken brain: to get all this fucked up reeking bullshit done and over with.

(And then cheerfully show up at his door and demand like a child spoilt rotten, a huge huge hug, and more tea, please, and uncompromising bias sympathy- yes, your life sucks, people suck, exams suck- and steal his bed and collapse into a coma-like state while he sits and sighs and reads and occasionally, the sound of him flipping a page enters into my dream.)

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