they're back and the house feels as though it's bursting with fire.

one is chimney smoking away in the living room, one is vomiting loudly and everyone else simply pretends not to hear, one is nagging endlessly and finding fault with everything because nothing is ever good enough and another one is sarcastically throwing insults at anybody within arm's reach with seething anger and pleasure.

the tv is blasting away.

i say, "can you lower the volume? i have an essay due tomorrow."

she says, "so you want me to eat in silence is it?!"

"what's wrong with that?"

"siao arh!" she raises her voice indignantly, and proceeds to ignore me.

it's so noisy. so messy. every inch of space has been infiltrated. i'm suffocating.

i don't belong anywhere. i want a room of my own to go to and shut the door and shut everything out like a spoilt little kid. instead i crawl and hide within the inside of my body- at least i can call this a private, personal place of my own where no one can fucking touch me- and let out a silent scream.