Thursday, September 10, 2009

I have an irrational fear of boys who sit too close to me, especially in class. It’s okay if I’ve spoken to them before. But if they’re perfect strangers, I instinctively and discreetly move myself away from them. I don’t ask for much, there just needs to be at least a 20cm space between us. I feel suffocated by their overwhelming presences almost instantly, especially the sense of smell emitting from their bodies- sweat, soap, smeared grease on their foreheads and noses, clinically squeaky clean fingers that have touched paper, the keyboard, and pen and nothing more. Morning breath when they open their mouths. The odour of too sweet coffee, sour saliva and minty Colgate. Hair all over their arms. Shaking their legs incessantly, dirt on their shoes. Just don’t touch me, I think. Just don't talk to me, don't ask me for an extra pen or ask to copy down what I've just written on my notes. The scent of burning cigarettes will cling to the front of their shirts and fingertips after the lesson break. I wrap my cardigan tighter around my body as a form of protective insulation.

1 comment:

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