Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Look at that face! It's adorable! It says a million words: "ENVY ME" and "Look what look, she's mine." Although at that time he might have just been thinking, "I am so handsome. Why am I so handsome?"

We need to take more photos together. After so many months together, we've only accumulated four photos of us together- one taken while we were just friends on an ice cream "outing" at Fort Canning (that is, if your friend carries your bag for you, pays for all your meals and movie ticket, and sends you home and pays for the cab fare), one taken when we were just friends who went to Batam together (that is, if your friend pays for the whole trip for you-meals and accommodation included), one taken when we went to Phuket (finally as a couple), and one more taken when we went to a club, holding hands, him with a huge child-like grin plastered on his face, and me with a shy embarrassed smile because I never do like being photographed.

And then there are the photos in my head, snapshots that I've captured with the swift rising and falling of my eyelashes. Sometimes I'm simultaneously taking the photo and being in the photo. My soul somehow hovers outside of the frame and outside of the moment completely as I gaze at my physical body. I scrutinize myself, asking, "Is this really me?"

Snapshots like, him carrying me from his bed to the kitchen to get me a drink. I'm sleepy. I feel my feet leave the ground. I ask him if I'm heavy. He grunts and shakes his head. Or little expressions and actions. Pouting and acting cute, smiling so hard his eyes disappear and become two thin lines, sleeping on my shoulder after the countless times I've slept on his' shoulder, breaking into some supremely gay-looking dance move, singing out of tune, mouth wide open like an 'O', music from his ipod blasting, holding my hand and making me twirl, twirl, twirl, and I comply reluctantly, absolutely self-conscious, looking at the people walking by looking right back at us and I trip and stumble on my own two feet but he slides his hand around my waist and hold me so I don't accidentally kill myself.

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