Thursday, November 26, 2009

If I am, a disgusting liar, a backstabber, a hypocrite, a fraud; if I am worth nothing at all, then God, please use me, use me to wipe dirt and spit and mud off the soles of people's feet or clean shit and if I'm not even worthy to do that, break me and break me and break me, destroy me until you find something in me that you remember to be useful because there must be something in me or you wouldn't have birthed me isn't it? And if I'm not even worthy of that, what should I do? Left to my own devices, how much, or what else, can I do?

I need, to believe, that there must be something, even if it isn't true at all.

Start from scratch, baby. Build some worth, some meaning, a little purpose. If it comes crashing down, do it again, and again, and again. And if you get tired, rest, and do it again and again and again. And if you get too tired to even rest, we'll see what to do, and where to go from there. But for now, you're only just beginning.

One breath at a time. One step at a time. One day at a time. Moment to moment to moment.

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