Sunday, April 04, 2010
in retrospect, we are probably better off without each other. we were more serious, determined, productive and independent as individuals. you fell sick less. i wrote a great deal more. for some reason we were also more intelligent. or maybe we just bothered to put up a front and paint in the intricate details and actually maintain every single bit of it. but we were also more sad. so much more, so much more sad. at 4am now we are throwing partially incomprehensible lazily typed words at each other on msn. ha ha ha. sian. sleepy. how abt u baby. gg to slp? orh. soon. back then we sat in the dimness of our separate rooms, containing our emptiness inside the hollow shells of our bodies and then projected them into various other spaces and the eyes and opened mouths of people interesting enough to make us believe in the idea/philosophy/high-definition 3D Picture of Love and Hope, interesting enough to distract us if only for a moment, and we chase after their vanishing warmth and shadows, write emo blog entries and cryptic love poems, go online, offline, send a dozen smses, pick up a phone call, make a phone call, watch tv, read books, listen to music, to piano chords and deep but fragile voices openly bleeding their hearts out for us so that we don't have to do anything but sit in the dimness of our separate rooms; sit and be still and silent and sad and pray desperately for sleep and then violently refuse it when it kisses each strand of our eyelashes. in retrospect, we are probably better off together, even if it means we become stupid, ugly and fat.
Posted by Faith at 4:24 am