i find myself unable to grapple with the shades of grey that this world is made up of. i always loved grey. it is a pale dreamy colour barely a shade darker than white. it does not draw attention to itself. rather, it blends in with the other colours and draws them out. it is a trace, a shadow. it appears and disappears depending on the lighting. yet i have come to realize that the colour is everywhere- in people and in situations. i used to embrace this, but now it overwhelms me, these shadows running amok. i have trouble placing my trust in anything or anybody, including myself. i find myself wanting clean and crisp answers- yes or no, black or white. like a finger on a piano that presses a key and releases a note that rings loudly and clearly throughout the air. a finger that does not hesitate. a note that does not tremble. a finger which belongs to a pair of firm and confident hands. a note which belongs to a simple but unfaltering song.