Thank you for spending time with me today. I really appreciate it.
There is no title. Couldn't think of one.
I need a box to put my thoughts.
A solid box without air without sound without escape.
The distractions are ear-splitting the lot of them all.
Out of sight.
Out of mind.
I just wish there was more… for?
I’m juggling the thousand balls,
Just waiting for the day they fall.
It feels as though I’m blind, was it something you foresaw?
It feels as though I can see so much too much it’s too much I can’t take it can’t take it anymore.
I can see right through everything there is, even outer space and beyond until there is nothing left.
(If there is, is there a beyond?).
I need something that I cannot describe.
(Does the word ‘indescribable’ count without vibes?)
I need you so much closer than the way you really are like.
Somewhere, maybe, time will stop to let me breathe, to recover and fight.
Somewhere that I’ll never reach isn’t that right.
As disappointment and regret seizes me like kites.
I am consumed,
Consumed like black paint blotting out white spaces.
Silver needles poke through the dark internal places.
When was the last time you felt this way?
Thought so much that you had a pounding headache?
I do not want to end up like this.
I do not want it to end this way at all.
I cannot believe I still believe,
That there must be something somewhere,
More than this skin-deep bubble of superficiality.
I am plummeting from one wrong blunder to another.
The mistaken identities and phoney battles even better.
Oh but maybe maybe it is better this way.
Time moves on and it’s too late there is no time to cry you must remain sane.
What’s the point, even as I try to justify?
Oh but is there could there be a way?
I want to know if I could just could just simply fly far away.